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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483353">Died With Her</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneous_mess/pseuds/Miscellaneous_mess'>Miscellaneous_mess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boss/Employee Relationship, Dead Emilie Agreste, Depression, Emilie/Nathalie could be platonic, F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Mayura - Freeform, Nathalie has depression, No Dialogue, No Smut, Party, Personal quotes, References to Depression</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:47:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneous_mess/pseuds/Miscellaneous_mess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathalie Sancoeur only ever felt alive with Emilie Agreste and while still alive to Nathalie it felt like they died together. Then Gabriel Agreste begins to make her feel alive again. Thoughts and feelings died with Emilie but can Nathalie and Gabriel bring them back in each other?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emilie Agreste/Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Emilie Agreste/Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Died With Her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Something about your natural charm makes me believe you’ll never lie<br/>
Even though you lied time and time again”</p><p> </p><p>It used to be her. Pretty, confident, yet not cocky Emilie, who could make Nathalie feel like she was worth the world. She rarely felt like she was a nickel, that if someone traded her for half a cookie they were right to do so. Emilie continued to make her feel this way even when she became an Agreste. Nathalie wanted to believe that this was only a sign of a close friendship but as she worked more and more with the Agreste’s the more she became certain that she had developed romantic feelings for Emilie Agreste. She tried to resign from her position, she didn't care that she had just worked her way up to be Gabriel’s personal assistant, it wasn't worth it when all she could think about was Emilie. She couldn't, with her resignation filled out and in hand, she couldn't hand it over so she continued to work. </p><p>After Emilie’s unfortunate passing Gabriel began to make Nathalie feel a similar way Emilie always had. She didn't understand why, Emilie and Gabriel were nothing alike. Gabriel did not offer constant reassurance when she felt alone and worthless, in fact, it often seemed like he didn't notice when her mood changed at all. As they continued working together to bring back Emilie they grew closer. She didn't understand why she cared at all for Gabriel but something about him just drew her in. Gabriel would never admit to feeling a similar way, he was doing all of this for his wife, he needed Nathalie alive to achieve his goals. It was another constant reminder to Nathalie that she wasn't worth it, she served a purpose, once it had been she would mean nothing again. She didn't know much about the Miraculous or about the wish but she knew there would be a price to pay if Emilie were to come back. Nathalie was okay with that price being her life, there would be no objection.<br/>
Then came the point where Gabriel couldn't do it, he couldn't just watch as Nathalie went through the same thing his wife did, he couldn't watch Nathalie die, Nathalie would not die, he promised himself. There came a point where he stopped akumatizing people and he focused on Nathalie and her health. That hurt, somewhere he was always comparing all her actions to those of Emilie. They weren't very similar yet somehow they held a certain beauty, a certain amount of confidence effortlessly. Gabriel couldn't recognize how insecure Nathalie felt, she hid it well, like she was always trained to do. </p><p> </p><p>“Mask the pain<br/>
Use your brain”</p><p> </p><p>It was like a mantra burned into her head. It was all she heard when she felt lightheaded and tired. She repeated the constant lie of being fine. Everything else she told Gabriel was the truth, she was willing to do anything and everything to help him bring Emilie back, now she was fairly certain that one way or another she would die in the process. Death didn't scare Nathalie, it was something she welcomed in her teenage years, it was something everyone went through, there was nothing to fear. Losing people was much worse than actually dying yourself, she was certain. </p><p>None of this stopped her from kissing Gabriel Agreste one night. She didn't know why, it seemed like the worst thing to do and she knew it was very inappropriate. He had always taken care of her though and it continuously grew her feelings, she couldn't take it, she needed to do it, even if it was just once. Nathalie didn't expect it when one of his hands flew to her hair and the other onto the curve of her back. She stood up and backed away immediately. She apologized profusely, no matter how much she had dreamed about the moment it was not right. Gabriel stood up with her and ended up backing her into the wall. He convinced her it was okay, he took his hand and traced her jawline, the artist in him saw a true model. He examined her face for what felt like hours to Nathalie as the heat in her cheeks refused to leave with him being so close. He kissed her again, she kissed back, if she was going to lose her job it was already gone, nothing was going to make this worse. Gabriel was an excellent kisser, his lips were slightly chapped and he kissed with such a desperation as if Nathalie might disappear if he were to let go of her. He left after that and the two never discussed it. She probably messed it up, she messed everything up, she constantly reminded herself as she played through the night's event again and again in her mind. </p><p> </p><p>“If you don't wait<br/>
You’ll never know what will come<br/>
But if you don't go<br/>
You’ll never know what was there”</p><p> </p><p>The next week something odd happened when Gabriel asked her to model a dress. She insisted she was too ugly to wear it, too clumsy as well, insisting she might accidentally rip the delicate fabric if she even touched it. Gabriel insisted that she was beautiful, that she would look beautiful in the dress, and that she would not ruin it. Nathalie couldn't say no, Gabriel spoke with few words, but they always meant something, he never wasted a word. She felt stunning in a dress which was probably meant for someone worth at least 50 times more than her. Gabriel wore a small smile telling Nathalie that it was hers and that she was to wear it to a party they would be attending later that week. Nathalie agreed, she couldn't remember any sort of gathering on the agenda but was too tired to argue. </p><p>At the palace, Nathalie felt out of place. She tried to make small talk but it wasn't going well, until Gabriel joined at her side. Gabriel didn't leave the rest of the night and it felt right to be next to him. Gabriel offered to dance, Nathalie explained that she didn't dance and worse than that what would the press think. Gabriel didn't care what the press would think though as he pulled her close and began guiding her rhythmically to the soft tune that played. He told her not to look down at her feet but to watch his face, she didn't know how this would help her dancing but it did. She let Gabriel lead through a series of moves and she felt elegant, beautiful, things she had never felt before, at least not since Emilie had died. Nathalie was so caught up she didn't realize when Gabriel leaned in and kissed her. She wanted to protest but his hand that had been placed on her waist during the dance didn't let her move. Nathalie could feel the embarrassment already, Gabriel and she were going to be on every magazine cover. She ran away when the kiss broke, on the balcony she took deep breaths but that didn't stop tears from falling down her cheeks. Gabriel was quick to follow her out and wiped away some of the tears. He apologized and agreed he wouldn't do something like that again. Nathalie looked at him, the man she was completely in love with. She admitted it, her voice quivered as she said the fragile words, ‘I love you’. Gabriel stopped, he hadn't anticipated that though he supposed he should have. Nathalie held her breath waiting for his response, the one she was certain was going to toss her aside and remind her once again of Emilie. The response instead was another kiss. She heard some muttering about how Emilie was his wife but that Nathalie was his queen, someone who was just as irreplaceable in his life as Emilie was. Nathalie wasn't disappointed, she had expected for him to turn her down completely. She still considered herself lucky that she still had her job. Nathalie stayed close beside Gabriel the rest of the night and they left early because he could tell that Nathalie was uncomfortable. He requested that she spend the night at the Agreste place, she agreed. </p><p> </p><p>“If the greatest thing to happen was something you couldn't see<br/>
Would you still believe?” </p><p> </p><p>Alone in a large guest room, she was afraid that somehow the space could swallow her whole. She felt so alone and was unable to fall asleep with the thoughts racing in her mind. She heard someone enter and she pretended to be asleep and felt as they got closer to the bed. They swooped some hair from her face and she heard the word beautiful murmured, it sounded like Gabriel but it couldn't be, he was surely already asleep in his room. They got on the bed with her and she opened one of her eyes just slightly to see who it was and it was indeed Gabriel Agreste. She let herself be pulled closer as Gabriel cuddled her close. She tried to remind herself that he loved her or at least valued her in some way. That didn't stop the thoughts of her being a replacement from coming. Nathalie knew she could never be Emilie, maybe that was a good thing for Gabriel, maybe it would disappoint him, but it didn't change the fact that she woke up alone. Maybe she had dreamed the whole thing, the party had to have happened because she was not in her apartment but she doubted that Gabriel would actually come to her bed in the middle of the night.<br/>
She got ready for the day trying to think of nothing but the agenda in front of her. She looked in the mirror as she went to pull her hair up the way she always had for work but she stopped, her hair held some curl from the last night so she put most of it up leaving some of the remaining curls intact falling around her face. Before walking into Gabriel’s office she took a deep breath promising herself not to bring it up. He didn't say anything until she went to leave and he complimented her hair. She felt a blush across her face and she reached to leave but he had crossed the room and lightly took her arm. He told her that he didn't regret last night and she felt like she couldn't breathe. He kissed her cheek and she admitted that she didn't regret last night. He pushed her body against the door and captured her lips. Part of both of them felt like they were betraying Emilie but soon enough their days as Hawkmoth and Mayura ended as they became enough for each other. Neither one was Emilie to them but the feeling was close enough.</p><p>Gabriel made Nathalie feel like she was worth something, that she looked beautiful without trying, feelings which she thought died with Emilie. </p><p>Nathalie made Gabriel feel like there was still hope in the world, a feeling which he thought had died with Emilie.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All “quotations” are apart of unpublished poems that I have written. This did not stop me from quoting myself.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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